Fifty on Friday #7

Have you guys enjoyed the whole "Fifty on Friday" thing so far? It's partly for you, and partly for me, so I got to thinking about it. Maybe I'm just shouting these words words words words words into the abyss of the internet, where they get swallowed into nothingness. Or maybe you guys are interested. Or maybe it's saving me years of expensive therapy. Either way, I'm digging it. Hope you guys are too!

It's been interesting to take one day a week and use these questions to dig around in my own brain, to really think about some of them. Others have been less thinking-required than others, but it's still been interesting, and I'm glad that I decided to do it like this instead of all in one incredibly long post. This one was originally intended to go up last Friday, but between crappy internet and limited time, it got pushed down a week. Here we go!

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#7: Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you're doing?
For a long time, I was just settling for my life as it was. I wouldn't admit it to most people, but I was very unhappy, and just chose not to do anything about it. To me, it was just my lot in life to accept, and to hope that "it will eventually get better", as so many people struggling with depression do hope.

Nowadays, I'm doing what I believe in. I'm in a healthy and happy relationship, writing daily, working with a friend to get some published articles done.... The only time that I don't feel like I'm doing what I believe in, is when I'm at my day job, wage-slaving until I don't have to anymore. Sure, I still have some issues related to my depression, and some days the headnoise can be unbearable... but who wants to read something written by someone mentally stable anyway?

#19: If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
If money wasn't an issue, I wouldn't stay in any one place for more than a month or two. I would go anywhere, and everywhere, that my life could take me. But setting that aside and picking one state, I think I'd start off in New Jersey. I've got friends there, like Matt, who would let me stay with them until I could get a place of my own, and even the places that I did visit are still a new adventure in the waiting.

As far as countries besides this one, I think I'd be boring and start with Canada. Not saying that the country is boring, but that it's kind of a boring start for me, because I'm just four or five hours away from there now. Another option would be somewhere in the United Kingdom. I've got ancestry way back somewhere over there, and it would just be a fun and exciting new world for me.

#28: Has your greatest fear ever come true?
Up until it came true, I didn't really give much thought to my greatest fear. Sure, I'm claustrophobic, and a little bit arachnophobic, and I have a perfectly irrational hatred of clowns and mimes... but I never really qualified any of that as "greatest fear". I don't fear my own death, so it was an odd thing to think about. Turns out that my greatest fear was losing my grandpa, which happened back in 2009. I was raised by my grandparents, so he was much more my dad than my biological dad was. He taught me how to cook, and a lot of other things, and he was pretty awesome to have around, all the way from childhood to adulthood. I miss him a lot.

So, yes. My greatest fear has come true. I guess I need a new one.

#49: In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
No, probably not. Not specifically, anyway. Maybe I'll remember that I was balancing writing Project: Samson with researching Who Killed Hermes?, but I doubt I'll specifically remember which scenes I wrote,  or what book I used as research that day. The things I will remember are things like playing Cards Against Humanity for the first time with Steev and Megan, or helping Jynni deal with some hard stuff going on lately. But remembering a shift at Murphy's in detail? Not likely.

#30: What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
I've always had a bad memory with my childhood, so this one is a bit hard to answer. One that stands out is when my grandpa started teaching me how to cook, but letting me watch when I stayed home sick from school one day. It was his spaghetti, which was his main thing as far as I was concerned, and it was an all-day process. He always made enough to feed our family and have plenty left over, because there was always at least one extra person. Sometimes it was Tony or one of my other friends, and sometimes it was one of my sister's friends, or a coworker of my grandma's... there was always someone extra over, and he always made enough food to accommodate.

To this day, I still love to cook. I haven't yet perfected his spaghetti, but I'd like to think that I do a pretty damn good job trying.

KETCHUP! (Get it?)

JURY DUTY IS OVER!

 If you don't follow me on Twitter, or aren't my friend on Facebook, you should remedy that. 

Well, that, and you probably didn't know that I got a jury summons in Monday's mail. And we're going to pretend that's the reason that I didn't have time to write any posts other than yesterday's "Fifty on Friday". I've been ranting about it a bit on both Twitter and Facebook, to the limited extent that I was legally allowed. Aaaand that post is still to come. This one is a "my world lately" post, so be prepared to be assaulted with mediocrity!

 I've been writing, and more than that, researching. Specifically, I'm researching everything I can about Ancient Greece -- Greek mythology, Greek society and laws, and just about everything else I can find. My latest idea is going to involve a world where the Greek gods not only existed, but were present in the development of the modern world, and Greek society was the main society influencing the world as it got to this point. And the gods are still very present in this world, with the book actually starting with one of their deaths. Tentatively, it's to be titled "Who Killed Hermes?", but that's subject to change.

 Work has been... well, it's been. That's about all I can say for sure. today was better than some days, partially because the aforementioned jury duty had me unsure if I'd be able to work. Like I said, you'll get the story on that later. My coworkers were both people that I enjoy working with, so it was an uncomfortably-91-degrees-outside, filled-with-snark-and-sarcasm good time, all things comsidered. And towards the end of my shift, something funny and unexpected happened! I was answering Customer #2's questions, but because I was grabbing Customer #1 some food out of the hot food case, C#2 couldn't see me well. Imagine my surprise when I got back to the register where she could see me, and she said "Holy crap, you're handsome!"... That's always nice to hear!

 Finally, and most importantly, you might have been wondering how things have been going with the Long Distance Relationship. To answer that, I'll just say this: Great! It's still a bit hard to be so far away, but we're coping with it. Some time soon, we'll be having a Skype date. Thank you, The Internet! Bringing distant people that much closer. :)

Fifty on Friday #6

Man, I just didn't have a chance to get this done last week. I'm still getting used to the whole "split days off" thing, so getting just one day off at a time has left me feeling draaaaaained. I had the answers mostly finished, hand-written, just didn't make the time to finish them and get them scheduled on to here....

I'm doing that "complaining instead of getting Fifty on Friday done" thing again, aren't I? Right, then... We're past the halfway point, so... GERONIMO!

#21: Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
Well, I'm closer to worried genius more of the time, so it might be nice to experience the other side of it. Personally, though, I'd rather be a worried genius. My intelligence is important to me, and sometimes being smart causes me to worry. Not so much lately, since I've decided to have an outlook that doesn't stress me out, though.

#23: Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
To most of my friends, I hope that I can honestly say yes. Nobody's perfect, though, and I'll admit that I haven't always kept in touch as much as I should. For that, I apologize. As to other friend-behaviors, I can say "Yes", definitely. I've never stolen from my friends, I've been completely honest to them, and I like to think that I've at least offered help when it was needed, even if they didn't accept.

#10: Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
Do the two of these have to be considered mutually exclusive? I'd like to be able to do the right things, and do them right; that's what I typically worry about. But, if I had to choose, I'd say I tend to worry more about doing the right things, sometimes to the detriment of the "right" way that I want to do things.

#36: Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
This is sort of a loaded question. Initially, I would want to answer "yes", because we all know that murder is bad, and theft is bad, and lying is also bad. Except when they aren't.

What if your life, or the life of someone you love, is in danger, and your choice is "kill or be killed"? Even the law has language that allows for self-defense, however controversial those things are. What if not-stealing means that you can't eat, or that your kids can't? If the choices are "steal a loaf of bread" or "die of starvation", I doubt that many would judge that person for their crime. And if the lie that you tell saves your life, or someone else's?

The simple fact is that good is usually good, and evil is usually evil. But not 100% of the time, because the factors that lead to the actions matter a lot in how that action is perceived.

#13: Would you break the law to save a loved one?
This ties in perfectly with the last question. To answer shortly, yes, I probably would. It depends on what the situation is.