So, I was going to write a long, clever, story-like post. Unfortunately, it's going to be moved to another day, because I forgot to charge my laptop before I left for work. I have a whopping fifteen minutes of battery power left.

But I'm going to Shelton tomorrow, and according to Wendy, it's to see her and not Jim. Because Jim doesn't like me, now that I'm making fun of him. And he plans on calling me names while we hang out, which I'm looking forward to.

Okay, battery power's dying. Bye!

Brainfart

I'm feeling a complete lack of posting ideas today. Everything I've tried over the last half hour just feels wrong, and ends halfway through the first paragraph. I feel like "Brainfart" is an appropriate term for it.

So, instead, I'm going to put this up. A post where I'm not really saying anything, because nothing happened today. I came home from work, read a little more of "Lamb: The Gospel According To Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal", and then slept. It's my second or third time reading the book, and I still love it. Matt recommended it to me over a year ago, and I've loaned it out to friends, who loved it too. I guess I'm "spreading the gospel".

Now, I'm going to get ready and then head to work. It's a shorter night tonight, and I just have to get through this one and the next one, and then I'm going up to Shelton to visit Wendy and Jim for a few days. :)

Yesterday was pretty productive...

I just didn't have time to blog about it last night. When you realize it's 11:30pm and you still haven't blogged for the day, you tend to drop whatever you can in there. Plus, who DIDN'T think that the Grammar Dalek was awesome?

Here's the short version: payday, get household necessities, pay rent, be broke. Go to Tully's, enjoy chai tea, meet up with Tom Hyde. Come home, sleep, wake up, go to grandma's and get online, shit out quick blog post about something awesome that I totally stole from somewhere else. I'll get a bit more into one of those now:

After the (mildly snark, but overall pleasant) "review" of my blog over at Olympia Views, photographer Tom Hyde shot me an email wanting to meet up and chat a bit. So, we arranged to hang out at Tully's yesterday, and spent an enjoyable hour (ish) talking about some mutual acquaintances, and things about Grays Harbor. Some of it was what we wanted to see out of the Harbor, or what we enjoyed here, and I did something that felt just as douchey as I always figured it would -- I gave him a business card.

In my defense, it's the first time I've given one to someone, and I got 100 "minicards" from Moo.com as a Klout perk. All they really have is my contact info, and the address for this site. It was easier than either of us getting out phones and programming numbers.

Yesterday was a good day, though. I'm mostly broke now, but I had a nice chat with Tom, wore jeans for the first time in about ten years, and the weather was great. For a while, I couldn't wipe a smile off of my face because it just felt like a great day. It's been a while since I had one of those unbeatable good moods, and I hope it happens again soon. :D

I'm not going to be a Grammar Nazi...

Instead, I will be a GRAMMAR DALEK!

This is probably definitely the best thing that I've seen today. I'm a big fan of the HijiNKS ENSUE webcomic, and as per Joel's request, I'm 100% in favor of using "Grammar Dalek" on the regular. Really, I'm surprised that I hadn't already started doing it, just on the virtue of being a big Doctor Who fan.

Similarly, when I logged in to Klout today, I got told that I was influential in Tardis. At the very least, I'm going to say this: SUCCESS!

It's like I'm a millionaire!

Did you know that Facebook has an "Other" area, under the "Messages" link on the side? I had a couple updates there that I never see, since I'm only on Facebook on my phone. Checked it today, and I saw this:

Edward Moses
Dear Barlow,

I have an important message for you concerning the death of my deceased client Engr.C.M.Barlow,who bears the same name(Barlow)as you I am aware you are not related to this by blood, nationality or family, therefore I ask that you consider the factors in my email and keep it strictly confidential. However, if you are unable to meet my demand, kindly discard of it. This is regards a deposit of US$9.5million he left behind here in Lome Togo before his untimely death you have being pre-appoved for this release because of the last name,Contact me with your full names, private email, country of Residence and direct telephone number communication contact me only if your interested on my private email with the details I required from you my friend. Kindly email me today with my private email if you need any clarification. I await your urgent response.

With Regards,
Barrister Moses Edward
Private telephone:00228-994 269 65.
private email:(mosesedward1986@
yahoo.com)

Oh, if only it was so easy to solve all of my financial problems. I'll be sure to send this guy my information just as soon as I email my bank account information to that Nigerian prince who had a whole bunch of money for me, too...

It's my Friday and I'll post if I want to, post if I want to

You would post too, if it happened to you!

...

Yes, I grew up with my grandparents. I had to listen to "It's My Party" pretty often in car rides anywhere with my grandma, as well as a lot of other songs from the same era. They've become ingrained to the point where I've referenced them, like now. With my three days off, possibly (hopefully) more depending on the new schedule, I wanted to let you know of a few things I'm working on 'behind the scenes'.

The first is Harbor Humanism, a secular activism group that I've been contemplating for a while now. I've bought the domain, but haven't started any site or blog for it yet. Before I do that, I'm trying to figure out a few things locally, such as places to meet. I'm going to be asking around tomorrow at some of the places that should be willing to help with something like this, on the provision that anyone can come.

Secondly, I'm also setting up a "landing space" for my writing, which I'll let you know more about as it happens. Essentially, it's going to be a one-stop-shop for how to contact me, where to find my writing online, and a place for me to add writing jobs to my "Writer's Resume" as I acquire them.

Finally, I'm meeting up with local photographer Tom Hyde, to talk about stuff. It was prompted by the Olympia Views review of my blog, so there'll probably be mention of that. I might try and video tape it, if he's cool with that -- we'll see!

For now, time to work. Blargh. Murphy's, here I come!

My brother is in town for the next couple nights. And, as usual with my luck, the day he leaves is the first of my days off from Murphy's.

Speaking of, another proof of it being appropriately nicknamed -- not only was last night busy enough in the first three hours to end as my third-busiest night there, but then shit just kept breaking. Okay, maybe there were only a couple breaks: just a Gatorade bottle, a malfunctioning temp-controlled case, and accidentally-cut-open energy drink, and what remained of my sanity.

That last one's partially recovered, but we'll see how long it lasts tonight. I started thinking about a couple recipe ideas tonight; I'll be working on them soon to get them completely Justin-flavored and DELICIOUS. Hopefully, you'll get to see them soon!

"Murphy's"

Now that I don't mention (by name) my current workplace, I've decided to refer to it as "Murphy's", as in "Murphy's Law". If you're not familiar, it's the position that states that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

At least once a month, that's what happens. Last night's shift was one of those, starting about halfway through -- customers destroying the coffee bar area, someone accidentally dumping their coffee all over the main register, an out-of-order bathroom... the only thing that didn't happen was a theft.

But, if luck works with me instead of against me, I might not have to work here at Murphy's for a whole lot longer. I applied for a new position tonight, at a workplace that will provide me with full-time hours, a starting pay that's a fair amount more than what I make here, and benefits after a few months, including medical, dental, and vision. I'm not going to count my chickens before they hatch, so to speak, but I'm hopeful.

Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time to clock on to work. :)

I don't have a whole lot to say tonight. I'm thinking that tonight's shift (and tomorrow's) are going to be hell to get through -- freight delivery tonight, potheads out causing trouble for 4/20, and then tomorrow's Friday (a "party night", anyway). So, yeah...

I'm just going to send off this email to Julie, about Project: SAMSON, and then clock on to work.

YOU CAN DO IT, CANUCKS!

We've talked about how I love hockey, once or twice. And up until today, I was wondering just like last year, what the hell was up with the Canucks -- tonight's game is giving me hope that the team I know is back, and can avoid being the FIRST TEAM IN SEVEN DECADES to lead the season in points and then get knocked out in the first round of the playoffs. It's still going on, but last I checked, it's midway through the 3rd period, and we're up 3-1.

I'd love to see us go on to win the Stanley Cup this year. I think if it hadn't been for how fantastic Tim Thomas is as a goalie, we probably would've won it last year. He was pretty unstoppable though, and despite my continuing bitterness towards the Bruins... I'll give them that. They've got a great goalie.

One of my fellow wage-slaves, also a Canucks fan, is starting to lose the faith. She figured that we'd win tonight, but then lose Game 5 and be knocked out of the playoffs. I'm going to hope to the hockey gods and to Super Panda that she's wrong, and that we can recover from this. It took us seven games last year to beat Chicago in the first round, and I think that if they really work for the win, they can beat the Kings in seven this year.

Now, it's time to get ready for work. I'm hoping for another slow night, because I want to try getting a few Project: SAMSON notes in when I can. When I get off in the morning, I've got four character outlines and sketch requests to send to Julie, and then it's off to take care of shit. Because, as we all know, "pay day" is just the shortened version of "pay the bills day".

Challenge, ACCEPTED

It's been a while since I mentioned him, but remember Tony? We've been friends for a long time, and he knows my love of spicy foods -- he can't stand them, but since he knows I love them, he issued me a challenge when I got to work tonight.

Koibito Sushi in Lacey has one of those "eat ___ in ____ (time)" contests, and now that Tony's told me about it, I am down like a clown. According to Tony, it's a spicy tuna roll with habaneros, jalapenos, and "ghost pepper". A blog post that I found that talks about it says that the sauce the peppers are in seems like mostly sriracha sauce.

If I successfully eat it all in half an hour, I get a cool shirt, a free sushi roll, and 10% off for life as long as I wear the shirt when I go in there. It sounds like fun, and a good way to see just how much spicy food I can handle -- plus, if I have 10% off forever (as long as I wear the shirt), it'll give me an excuse to go back to Olympia and visit Jim and Wendy more often. :D

I spent today cleaning, fiddling around with the things that hook up to my TV -- and now have a working VCR, for the few things I only have on VHS -- and then decided to play some Marvel: Ultimate Alliance. Yes, I own a VCR, and my most advanced video game console is a PS2. I'm a 20-something relic, or so I'm told.

So, since I was mostly uninteresting, I would like to share a few things with you. First of all, the Jor Mom podcast. They're a great listen, and fellow members of the 20SB community. If I didn't have a horribly painful-to-listen-to voice, I might try to get them to have me on for an episode. But I wouldn't want to hurt your ears. :P

The second (and final, because I'm almost out of time) thing is this petition, from MetalSucks writer Gary Suarez. Mina Caputo was Life of Agony vocalist Keith Caputo prior to her open admission of her plans to undergo a sex change operation, and Gary is trying to get her featured in the next Revolver magazine "Hottest Chicks in Hard Rock". There was a bit of a blowout a while back about the sexism of the feature, but it's something that Mina wants, and I think would be great to at least let her be a part of.

Gary is able to explain it better than me, so hit him up on Twitter for more info!

Justin-Flavored: Sun Chip Chicken!

As I mentioned in the edit to yesterday's post, it was way too late to cook the slow cooker chicken parmesan last night. The other downside that I noticed when I started making stuff last night? I didn't have enough banana for both breads.

So, I settled for one of my favorite creations, Sun Chip Chicken. And to go with it, I made the banana bread recipe that I found, and despite my usual failure at baking... it turned out great! Maybe not quite as strongly banana-flavored as I'd hoped for, but still, it was a very satisfying dinner.

After I came up with the idea of Sun Chip Chicken, I googled it to find out that I wasn't the first person to think of it -- not surprising, since it's so easy, but I'm still calling it my own. I typically mix in some seasonings with it before putting it all over the chicken, and I'm happy to share my version of it with you!

Sun Chip Chicken - French Onion

French Onion Sun Chips

Chicken breasts

Egg whites

Oregano

Garlic powder

As usual, I'm leaving the amounts off, for two reasons. The first is that it depends on how much you're cooking, and the second is that the last two are purely to your own taste. I usually make a half-dozen medium-sized chicken breasts -- get a 2.5 or 3 pound package from your local grocery store or butcher's shop, and that should be enough. With the chips, I'd say two of the regular size bags should be good, but get a third just in case your chicken breasts are on the bigger side. I made four big chicken breasts when I made this last night; half of one of the breasts was enough to satisfy my appetite.

Separate the egg yolks from the whites -- an easy enough trick to learn. Basically just break the egg shell near the center and slide the yolk back and forth between the shell halves until the whites are in a small bowl. Beat the two eggs together, and then get to crushing up your Sun Chip mixture in a big plastic bag.

Roll each chicken breast around in the egg until it's coated, and then plop them individually in the bag with the Sun Chip mixture. Shake it around until it's mostly coated in the mixture, and don't be afraid to stick your hand in there to help coat it if that's not getting the job done for you. Then set them, slightly touching but not smashed together, into a lightly-greased glass baking pan.

Bake the breasts at 400°F for about 30 minutes, or until the internal temperature of the breasts is at least 165°F as measured by a meat thermometer in the center. I usually let them cook for about five or ten minutes after they reach that temperature (which is food-service standard temperature for how high hot chicken has to be maintained at), and they come out very very juicy.

They make great wraps, or they're great with potatoes, as the first picture shows me having them last night. I had half of one for a "leftover lunch" today, in a multigrain tortilla with horseradish mustard. In a word, wonderful. Just slice it up and microwave it, then make a wrap with whatever sounds good. The Sun Chip crumbs maintain some of their crunch from having been baked, and it has a palette-pleasing texture and taste when thrown together like that.

---

On a non-food-related note, I had something interesting happen this morning -- I woke up to see a post on someone else's blog. A post about me! It's a well-written review from someone else in the Olympia area, and while they point out a few well-deserved criticisms and a few pages that needed work, I get a few compliments, too!

Seeing someone that I don't know mention me in a semi-positive light (including that I "can be a wonderfully interesting writer") is a nice way to wake up, and gave me a bit of that necessary OOMPH to get some of the shit done, like making significant updates to the Project: SAMSON page. So, go check it out! I look forward to what you have to say!

On the menu tonight...

I've joked before that I'm going to make a good wife for some woman some day. It's a slightly sexist joke regarding the gender expectations that society has of the wife being the cook and such, and the sexism part is why I don't make the joke anymore -- although I still hear it when I tell some of my friends about how much I love cooking, or if a recipe turns out great and it's simple enough to feel like sharing with my less skilled-at-cooking friends.

Lately, I haven't been cooking much aside from the quick-and-easy stuff like pre-made sausage patties on toast (part of my breakfast routine lately), but today has much more appetizing plans -- slow cooker chicken parmesan, pasta, and two loaves of bread; one is banana bread, and the other is strawberry-banana bread.

The original plan was just to make the strawberry banana bread, but my mother is allergic to strawberries. I decided to make a second loaf, of regular banana bread, so that she would be able to sample my potential brick(s) of failure along with me.

I say "potential brick(s) of failure" because I do NOT bake. I cook very well, but most of the time when I bake, it turns out as either a brick or tar. So far, that's only been with things from a box, so I'm hoping that taking great care with the recipes that I've got for the strawberry banana bread and the regular banana bread gives me more luck.

The slow cooker chicken parmesan is something wonderful, though. I don't remember how I found Emily's blog of Weight Watchers friendly recipes (www.emilybites.com), but I love that I did. Almost everything there sounds delicious, and in moderation, will help me lose weight without sacrificing food quality. I don't actually do Weight Watchers, because even just the online version requires a good chunk of money that I can't afford to bother with, but I know enough to use it to monitor my daily intake.

So, if everything turns out well tonight, I'll have a "Justin-flavored" post soon for the bread. I haven't really made any changes to the chicken, so I'm not going to bother with repeating Emily's recipe until I change it up. If I do. I mean, it's hard to mess with perfection and still have hope for something good.

Oh, and one other thing: check out this blog! It's just started today by a Twitter friend, and from the sounds of things, I'll be joining on as an ebook reviewer very soon -- it says so in the welcome post, and I look forward to writing with Kerri on it! See you all tomorrow!

UPDATE: After noticing the time, it looks like I'll be making the chicken tomorrow instead of tonight. It takes five or six hours to cook, and I hadn't realized how late it already was today. Instead, I'll be going with Sun Chip Chicken tonight, I think -- now THERE is a Justin-flavored post that I should put up soon. Probably tomorrow!

Part Two: Unforgiven

Welcome to the second half of last night's post. For this one, there's a little background you need to know.

My stepdad's family is full of horrible people, him excluded, although he could be an ornery bastard when he wanted. A few weeks before he passed, when he was hopped up on pain meds and 100% dependent on his oxygen tank, my stepdad (Jim)'s brother took him in to get the will changed. Long story and one scummy lawyer (that's known Jim's brother since high school) later, Mom got screwed out of the will and was in legal battles for two years after my stepdad died. His family was saying that she was doing horrible things, like tying his oxygen tube in knots and laughing when he couldn't breathe, or beating him and depriving him of his meds -- really fucked-up shit that my mom isn't even twisted enough to do to people she didn't like. Her (now-former) sister-in-law went along with the scumbag brother, even going so far as to straight-up LIE on the witness stand. Everything in the estate had to be sold to pay off the bills that scumbag ran up, which is saying something, since the estate was worth around $125,000 when my stepdad died.

So, yesterday, Mom and I went to the mall, as I mentioned in yesterday's post. After we were done at the ReStore, we got some food from the mall's food court, and were eating it when Jim's sister walked up to us. She runs a store there, filled with crap that she buys at cheap jewelry stores and thrift stores and then marks up a lot. What does she do? She starts talking to us, as if we were okay with her, and then issues some fake apology about the whole situation. Tells us that Jim's dad -- who lied to his son when his son was dying, by saying he'd come see him when Jim called and cried, asking him to -- had died, and Jim's scumbag brother tried doing the same thing with that estate that he had with Jim's. She made up some bullshit line about having realized the truth, and how she was "brainwashed" by her piece of shit brother. Tried to say how much she wished she could do right by us, but it was all lip service, and an attempt to ease her guilty conscience, because she had gotten fucked the same way she helped screw us over. Mom's comment about how they didn't just ruin things for her and me, but completely went against Jim's wishes didn't even get a reaction other than another unconvincing "I'm sorry".

The situation ended with me saying this: "N----, you're not forgiven, and you won't be. You're not welcome near me, or my mother", before we left to take care of the rest of our business for the day. It might have been cold of me to say, but I've thought of FAR worse things to say to that part of my stepdad's family, and even thought of worse to say to her during her "apology" to Mom. And Mom did say a couple things that I think were worse than what I said, but considering the reaction she could have had (and rightfully so, if you ask me), I think we both were fairly reasonable, for the situation.

The rest of yesterday was okay. Finally got ahead on one bill, and don't need to worry about it for another month, and then took a nap before work. Got a great schedule when I came in to work, too -- I don't work again until Monday night. After almost nine days straight, I'm happy to have a "three off, one on, three off" situation between the two schedules. Now, to go to sleep while listening to the movie Eddie and the Cruisers playing in the other room. See you all tomorrow. :)

Part One: Screen Doors, ReStores, and Drunken Boors

So, I missed blogging yesterday. And, really, before 7pm, I have no excuse as to why I missed yesterday.

It might happen, you know? I've been blogging (mostly) steadily for just over two months now, and I've realized that blogging daily is not for the faint of heart or boring of life -- the first, not me. The second of those two? Yeah, sometimes that's me. Allow me to recap some of the highlights of the last 26-ish hours...

My friends Amanda and A.J. (a married couple) have a game night that typically is every other Wednesday. I've known about it since October, when I went to a Halloween party (that was actually the day before Halloween) there, and I think I've had Wednesday off and the money to get over there... once. In the last seven months. Yeah.

But, I had yesterday off (which is necessary, because "game night" involves drinking), and bought my April bus pass earlier this month, so my way over there was secured. Fireball in hand, I made my way over to Amanda and A.J.'s and had a good time hanging out with friends and doing stupid things -- neither of those two, I can do often enough.

Today was less fun. Payday, which really means "pay my bills day". $80 to Verizon, $150 to the PUD for power bill (part of it was a past-due balance), and then it was off to our sad, rundown little mall. See, I just found out that they put in a Habitat for Humanity ReStore there, and since we need a new screen door, I wanted to check there first. They didn't have any, but if we haven't gotten one at Home Depot by Wednesday of next week, they said to check with them again then. I like the concept of the ReStores though, so I think I might wait until Wednesday and see.

There's a lot more, but I just looked at the clock and I'm not sure that I can be done with this post in the few minutes I have left before work. So, I leave you with this:

TO BE CONTINUED!

So tired...

NEVER agree to help someone (that you live with) run "just one errand".

That was around 1pm, when I was thinking about sleep because I'd been up sixteen hours. Now, it's 9:37 and I'm just now getting home, almost 24 hours after I woke up.

9:38

I met someone really interesting tonight. Downside was that she seemed very happily taken. Upside was, she was intelligent and fun to talk to, aside from being really cute. Sure, she had a few oddball opinions that I disagreed with, but it's nice when I enjoy talking with someone a lot when I first meet them. New friend? Methinks so.

9:40

Time for sleep. Good grub today, good feelings after helping out some family and getting shit done. See you on the morrow, folks.

SURPRISE!

Okay, there's no surprise. You caught me. The surprise is a lie.

BUT, what isn't a lie is that I'm going to be working on three writing things tonight, when I wake up. Yes, I'm filling the first of my nights off with unpaid 'work'. But it's work that I love, so that makes it a little better, right?

Two of the writing projects are involving Alexandra, over at The Tsaritsa Sez - she's looking for guest posts, which I'll be helping with by providing one. The second is for the currently-in-the-works edition of her zine, which means I'll be a published writer. Not a PAID writer, but it all starts somewhere. The theme of this issue is "Surprise" (hence the title), any suggestions on things I could write -- I'll take ideas for fiction or non, and no guarantees I'll use it, since I'll be working on it tonight.

The third will be one of my own projects. I'll be researching the best I can, and then talking to one or more of my military knowledge people for more research on the specifics of things.

It'll be a good night, full of wonder, excitement, and wonder. And hummus. I found a really good "pretzels and hummus in one container" thing at Swanson's yesterday, getting more of them tonight. But, for now, sleep.

Today is the end of spring break

And, hopefully, it will be a somewhat peaceful night. After a drunk shoplifter last night, and large customer counts the last two nights (Friday now being in my top three busy nights), I just want a semi-mellow shift.

Maybe with some of my cooler regulars. :)

RIP David Cain

Today marks three years since my grandpa died, and I'll admit, I wasn't looking forward to today. I miss my grandpa.

I wasn't raised by my parents. When I was really little, my grandparents sued for custody over my sister and me. There's a lot of reasons on both sides of the argument, but it boils down to my grandparents getting custody. So, that was a little different. I was raised a little old-fashioned, and a little sheltered, too. Which isn't to say that I resented it, because I have a lot of good memories from growing up, right alongside the bad like everyone else.

If I remember right, one of my earlier detailed memories of my grandpa is from Christmas Eve when I was probably 6 or 7 years old. Our family has always opened gifts from each other on Christmas Eve, and the kids opened their "Santa" gifts on Christmas Day. So, grandpa was at the tree doing his annual duty of calling out who each present was for and handing it to them, and I remember him calling out my grandma's name for this GIANT box. We were all so curious what was in it, because it looked big enough for one of those big chest freezers.

When my grandma got the wrapping paper off and cut open the tape, it was filled with packing peanuts. I'm sure my memory is exaggerating thinga, but it seems like I remember her almost diving into the thing when she realized it wasn't something big. Eventually, one hell of a mess later, she pulled some jewelry out from the bottom of the box.

That's the kind of sense of humor that grandpa had. He was sarcastic, and when I was younger, very appreciative of messing with people. He never really held a grudge on people, and unlike some of my younger cousins who only got to see him as a drunk old man, I've got a lot of good memories of him teaching me to cook, and sharing stories of his time in the army and the stupid things he and his brothers did. I still remember a few of them, and wish that it was possible for him to be around to share them when I have kids of my own.

Sorry if any of this post is a downer, but three years ago today, I lost the guy who might as well be my dad. And I miss him. I'll be fun tomorrow.

I have nothing to say, really...

So, I'm going to go in the back room here at work, and enjoy some spicy chicken pad thai before I have to start my shift.

In the mean time, here are a few things you can do:

• Follow me on Twitter
• Check out some far more awesome blogs, like Lauren's, or Alexandra's, or Ian's
• Listen to a good podcast, like TANcast or Comic Book Informer

I'll see you tomorrow. I actually have a post planned. :)

Do NOT hire these plumbers!

Ever have such a bad experience with a company that you had to actively recommend against them? Yeah, that was last week for me.

I had a pipe break, which suuuuucks. If you've never had it happen, I definitely recommend against it. Anyway, it's not the first time we've had issues with this house's plumbing, so I avoided the local company we went with last time. Instead, a few friends recommended that I get these guys from out of town -- I shouldn't call them friends, though, because they're DICKS for recommending these guys.

So we shut off our water supply until they got here, because I didn't want to turn my yard into a swimming pool. When they got here, they didn't do ANYTHING. Sure, maybe I should've taken it as a bad sign when the guy who answered their phone started with a frantic "Princess?!" instead of hello, but I just figured he'd been having relationship issues. We've all been there, right?

Stupid me, for not stopping at the awkward phone greeting. When they got there, they spent a little time looking at it, and went out to their van for some supplies. On the way, they saw my pet turtles and just LOST THEIR SHIT. They took them out of their aquarium and started stomping on them, calling them something that almost sounded like a racial slur. That wasn't enough, either, because they ransacked my fridge and ate the mushrooms. I don't even LIKE mushrooms, but I was going to cook with them for a friend's birthday!

Then, after them doing nothing but eating mushrooms and killing my pet turtles, they had the stones to BILL ME. And they wanted a lot, too. Demanded it be in some weird currency, with some obscure golden coins that had no design on the face.

This post is a public service announcement -- fuck the Mario Bros. Plumbers, and either go local or learn how to do it yourself.

Fuck these guys.

Stupidity: The Frohawk

Yes, I said "Frohawk". I was unaware of its existence until earlier today, when a customer who was probably whiter than our store's walls, came in sporting a very short frohawk, with ridiculous little wispy sideburns and a tiny goatee. I can only wish that I'd captured this bumbling creature on film, so as to allow you to bask in its foolish glory.

Other than that, it wasn't a terrible night... you know, aside from having to call the cops because some guy got his ass kicked in my parking lot. Oh, south side Aberdeen. Our customer numbers have been picking back up from our winter lows, so I'm typically busting my ass at work. That's not bad, though, other than the frustration that it causes me to get behind on my work stuff because I'm helping customers.

In fact, with all the running around the store, and my healthier eating lately, it's been beneficial to me. I'm starting to lose weight, albeit not much right now. The goal is to lose at least 10 pounds a month until the end of the year. Probably longer, but that's the only definite goal I've set. Counting this month, that'd have me down 90 pounds by the end of 2012. I'd be back down around 210 or 220, which I haven't been since high school. I carry the weight decently, but I'd rather carry a lot less of it. :P

You know what's awesome? A few weeks ago, I joked with The Tsaritsa about her coming to Washington. Within minutes, that one small joke had turned into a conversation including a half-dozen of us, about a blogger get-together this summer. Awesome, or awesomest?

Summertime NorthWest Bloggers Crazy Fun Adventure! It's a public event page, so if you're a blogger or want to hang out with a bunch of bloggers in either Portland or Seattle, say something! I've come up with a few fun-sounding ideas, like Karaoke Ring of Real-Life Doom, and I think it'll just be a blast to have this happen, anyway. Jorah, Jay, and Lauren are all involved too, and that's a whole lot of awesome for one meet-up. I think I can probably at least pretend to be awesome enough to fit in with these cool people.

In the meantime, I'm getting ready for work. So, there's that. Yay, it's crappy job time!

(This post was typed yesterday, but did not send from my phone because of crappy signal at work. It's kind of crappy anyway, but here it is, now that I'm off work and noticed)

Holy. Shit.

I'm tiiiiiiiiiired. It's about time for me to clock on, and I've been up since... yesterday. Well, not quite, but it was feels like it. I got woken up a little early because my neighbor was being an asshat and had construction equipment going. Was he building something? Shit, no.

He was going over the gravel driveway of our house and his -- he put the gravel down for us when the weather started getting bad last fall -- so that it wouldn't be a giant puddle when the big storm we were supposed to get happened. While it's nice of him, the fucker knows I work graveyards. He could've at least knocked on the door to see if anyone was home, or if that woke me up, if I was trying to sleep.

Then, I couldn't go back to sleep, because I woke up when he was only partway done. And he only had a limited time with the damn thing, so I didn't stop him. Stupid sleep interruptions.

#angry

Mr. Green, line one...

Wow, if I talk about shit or use the word "fuck", people LOVE it. That's what I've been the most hits from, and I really don't have a problem being foul-mouthed. :D Hopefully things will be getting more interesting soon, but if not, I've got stuff to write about anyway.

Friday was pretty interesting. Not only did I find someone else in my bed, but about half an hour after blogging about it, I got the most hilarious "wrong number" call that I've probably ever had. My number must've been recycled from someone else's (before 2007, when I got it), because I've gotten three or four calls for a Sue. This one, though, was for a guy named John, and they were speaking in code. Good old-fashioned hitting a wrong button.

Mystery caller: "John! I --"

Me: "Who's John?"

M.C.: "Uh, this isn't John? I'm trying to get Mr. Green."

Me: "Mr. Who?"

M.C.: "Fuck. Think I got the wrong number." *click*

Afterwards I thought about it, and the tone he was talking in, and decided that he was almost definitely trying to get weed. I took to Twitter and posted my humorous reaction to it (the above might not be word-for-word, but it's pretty close), and got a few funny responses. If I wasn't so tired, I might've realized what he was calling about while I still had him on the phone, and I could've had some fun with it.

Here's what Kelly asked:

"Did you say really loudly, 'Are you trying to acquire some of the 'marijuana' the kids are smoking?'"

If I'd said that, I'd've gone all out with it, too. Pronounced it as horribly as I could, more along the lines of "Marry-jew-wanna". But then again, there's a possibility that it could've turned out like the guy in Shelton who recently got bludgeoned to shit recently, and that wouldn't have been a good thing.

Lastly, I filed taxes today, and had a little bit of April Fool fun on Twitter. It's my only one for the day, but it should be fun to see what sites are doing goofy shit. I'm off to go explore the internet! ... and maybe have a sandwich. I'm a little hungry.