Tuesday, March 20, 2012

I have a theory about Michael Bay...

He's not making shitty films on accident. He's doing it on purpose, to show that people will pay boatloads of cash for all kinds of explodey garbage.

Well, it's either that or he's got a serious hatred of my happiness, and that of many others. You might have heard that he's part of the group working on next year's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. And since it blew up on the internet the last few days, you probably heard that they're not otherwise-normal mutated turtles anymore.

They're aliens.

I've been a Ninja Turtles fan longer than I remember, and STILL enjoy the live-action movies from the early 90s. All I could think when I saw this change is what the fucking fuck. He's got to know how bad these changes are. Sure, M Night Shyamallama fucked up The Last Airbender and hasn't made a good movie since The Sixth Sense, but I don't think it's on purpose. But Michael Bay? Taking franchises and shitting on them, by doing things like making the main characters aliens with no connection to the previous movies...?

Oh, right... I've heard that line before.

Personally, I hope it's just as successful this time as it was for Highlander 2. Don't pay to see this film. Make it Bay's lowest-earning film. Pirate the shit out of it, if you really want to see it.


the Tsaritsa said...

I think his intent is to destroy our childhoods. Next, he'll start remaking all the John Hughes films.

Justin Barlow said...

If he ever gets to touch Ferris Bueller's Day Off, I lose faith in the moviemaking industry. Forever.

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